Sunday, March 20, 2005

the truth

sat was boring as usual..it was spent playing 1 round of mahjong (won 8 bucks), printing notes and napping!! arrghh..lardball sure knows how to waste her time away. buttt...it became meaningful when i was allowed to go over to his place to study. (he had a quiz this coming wed and my presence there would prob hinder him from focusing..heh)
met him at clementi after he visted a fren at nuh. his fren got zham at the thighs while playing soccer..thigh bone got broken *ouch!* sounded really badddd...

knowing that i haven't eaten my dinner, he bought mac's beef wrap for me!! =) sweet rite? ate it on the bus ride home..i mean his house..certainly a frutiful bus ride for him as i shared wif him wat i experienced and went thru for the week. and..i told him..about the issue which was bugging me for nitez!! he was grinning..and exclaimed that he's still the world's best bf! haha..of course..at least to me =P he wasn't angry..or upset..phew! so glad that i didn't do anything that would hurt him..

randomly selected and rewatched one of the episodes of SATC on fri nite,
"let's not pretend to be something we are not"
this phrase strikes me hard. i thought about the stuff that had happened..realised i'm not really a platform person. true that moments of attention are fun and flattering..but i supposed those type of moments don't belong to my league. well, at least now i experienced it b4 and realised it's not my cup of tea.

some of u might think i'm making a mountain out of a molehill..but this incident and phrase juz made me ponder about the present me. am i pretending to be happy? pretending to like this person/fren when actually i think he/she is a total bastard or bitch? i hate hypocrites..and lying. but someone once told me, to survive in the real world, one need to learn how to be a hypocrite and tell the white lies..the world doesn't revolve juz around us..we need to learn how to adapt to the constantly changing environment in order to survive. it's a dog eat dog world outside..and it's sad to learn tat wat that someone juz told u may not be the truth at all! so artificial and fake..=(

he once told me tat i'm too naive and i believe wat ppl told me at face value. i agree..but it's so tiring to be critical of everything. i prefer to be the simple-minded me..without hidden agendas and motives..assumption that everyone else around are nice and real..but often then not, i'm proven wrong..

Rouge a-hemmed @ 1:03 AM 0 rockers