Monday, March 28, 2005

responsibility relationship

in accounting, we learn about responsibility accounting meaning that we only evaluate manager's performance based on wat they can control, not wat they can't.
one of my chums juz suffered a break-up wif her bf of 1.5 years. though she was the one who initiated it, it doesn't mean that she's much happier. she is having a terrible time trying to accustom her life without that someone who was once so important to her. and there's another chum who is treading on very thin waters wif her bf. being together for 2 years, and is starting to question herself, "where can we go from here? i don't see the both of us leading a life in future." is this the cruelities of life or it's juz human nature that after being together for a long (more than 1 year) time, we start to find faults wif the other and thus, find the whole relationship boring and bland?

to be in a relationship, both parties need to be responsible and accountable to each other. wat exactly do we mean by responsible? this is rather similar to responsibility accounting (i'm sure some would find it ridiculous). how well the relationship works out really depends on both parties, wat they do to make the r/s tick and how well they control it. some might beg to differ..why do we need to control in a r/s? r/s is all about love and love is about feelings..we should let it flow naturally.

if u really like that person, u would want to be accountable to him or her, thus u have to be responsible for ur actions. and to be responsible, soemtimes we need to exert a little bit of self control. take for instance, u have been in a r/s for 1 year, have been to all sorts of dating places, meet the parents, gone travelling together and is starting to find shopping, watching movie a boring routine, saw and knew this another guy or girl, who may be really gorgeous or juz a plain-jane, had lotsa common topics to talk about, found him or her interesting and u found urself really attracted to him or her. so u begin to not feel for ur present half or tell urself u have no more feelings for him or her. personally, i feel this is where the whole control comes in. if u really do like or i prefer to use love (since it is a stronger feeling) ur present half, u would exert some self control and and prevent urself from falling in love wif this new person. it's not ridiculous..some might say how do we prevent it? it's love at first sight? rubbish!!! if u were single, of course u r entirely allowed to go after that person. but if u r not and still love ur present half, u could and should distant urself from that person. dun come into contact wif him or her so often. and u could at least try to ignite some spark back into ur r/s. it's never too late to try...i'm sure many would disagree wif me...but imagine when u r married next time, 10 years down the road, u find ur wife or hubby a bore. so wat u gonna do? have an extra-marital affair? or file for divorce? and leave ur poor kids wif no papa or mama?

i know i might have sounded too strong on the above issue..but this is wat i feel a r/s is about. might seem too serious to some of u guys..'hey chill it man, it's juz a bgr, i'm not plannning to marry him or her!' then think twice b4 entering in a r/s, u will end up hurting the other party and one day...urself.

mayb i'm juz lucky to have a bf who understands me and is willing to try and strive hard in this r/s wif me..or perhaps he is struggling wif it...as the saying goes, it takes 2 hands to clap. and so does it in a r/s. it needs both parties to work hard together...rem after every bend, there's gonna be a sraight road ahead. no doubt it may seem tough now, but we would surely enjoy the moments when we see him or her smiles..a smile tat will melt ur heart and gives u the extra strength to carry on...

26th march
went to support dearie and kp at the spore biathlon. he didn't do so well this time but he has learnt to face the disappointment. seems like he has move on to another level in his life..this would certainly make him not be so hard on himself when he becomes the captain of the team.

i remembered when i went to support him at the nus tri, osim tri and std chartered marathon, i felt inspired by him and many of those who took part and completed the races. but this time, when i saw my fren completed it, i felt a little sad. i think it might have been because 'since kp can do it, why can't i do it?' i might be feeling the pressure of not sharing a common interest wif him. this is not the first time i'm experiencing it. perhaps it's feeling more real coz one of my chums juz did it..and it seemed effortless to her. but i have to remind myself she used to be both a swimmer and cross country runner. whereas me, i'm juz a girl guide. of course, i have learnt many lessons of life throughtout my 4 guiding years =)

congrats kp for doing well! i'm proud of u!!! i really wish i could be like u...then perhaps me and dearie can spend more time together. but i have learn to accept it, the joy which we couldn't share in trainings, could be shared when i welcome u at the finishing line or when watching oc together =) did i mention that i intend to take part in the nike 10km run and prob the quarter marathon at the end of the year? i hope i am not trying too hard (i will only know after i try it), but rather trying to find some meaningful things to do in life. i don't deny that taking part in the race is due partly becoz of him, but it's also for myself. for myself to feel closer to him, for myself to look better (not so fat) and to feel good about myself (the endorphins!!) once i start my working life, i would need to find more meaningful stuff to do besides auditing and aiming for promotions. would give it some more thought once i'm done wif my exams. for now, it's mugging time!!

Rouge a-hemmed @ 8:48 PM 0 rockers