Friday, March 25, 2005

confused?!?!

am feeling kinda upset about the way a close friend (well, this is how i termed our level of friendship)is treating me now. bear in mind that the word i used is upset, not pissed. which means that..i have kinda given up hope, immune and no longer care about it anymore.

initially, i thought maybe it's becoz i haven't been talking and spending time wif it. so u know..maybe it thought that i was ignoring it. so it decided to ignore me as well. there were a couple of incidents when it was having fun wif its frenz, i was present and in fact, part of the fun. but it never spoke a word to me, which was so unlikely it. so nvm, maybe it was really angry or pissed wif me wif regard to some incident. so i assumed..maybe it was really MY FAULT!

then one nite, it sent me a ppt thru msn. it's a message about hardwork, attitude and intelligence, u know, one of those motivating messages and the message ended off by saying, 'send this to frenz whom u care about' okie, so now i thought all those stuff about me thinking it was angry, pissed wif me were juz my overactions. everything was still fine between us, and mayb at those few incidents, it was too engrossed in its fun or it juz has nothing to say to me. and so, i replied its msn, and we started chatting. the conversation was cool and as per normal. so i concluded that it was juz me and my own bizarre way of thinking.

unfortunately, it treated me coldly, as though i wasn't present at one of those fun events again. hey, wat's wrong? then it called me but i was away. i called back, it sounded hostile and said it wasn't it that was looking for me but someone else. and later on, i called back its hp to look for that someone, or rather, i was asking it to pass a msg to that someone that i couldn't make it anymore. be brushed me off hastily and hung up on me. alrite, maybe it was really too engrossed in its fun activities.

finally, i msned it this evening, determined to find out wat was really wrong bet us. becoz this time, i'm totally clueless! the last time we had one of those cold wars where i ignored it for a couple of weeks coz i was really pissed wif him. but u see, there was a reason why i felt that way. but this time, i really don't know the reason why it was treating me weirdly! perhaps everything is fine, its juz me and my reactions, or mayb there is really a prob.

i took the initiative and msned it.

me: hey, u free now?
it: ya..
me: no la, jzu felt that we haven't been talking recently.
it: so u wanna go for dinner together?
me: i juz ate, was too hungry.
(when i went to buy my dinner, i actually knew that it was online. but i didn't want to msn it to invite it for dinner. didn't want it to think that i'm asking it for dinner coz i have no one to eat wif me. u know, like making use of it or when i need help then i'll look for it.)
it: this weekend so boring, nothing to watch on tv
me: then u could go out wif ur bf/gf..
it: u wnat to tell me about ur dentist?
me: nope..already found out wat i want to know.
(it thought that i msned it coz i want to share wif it about my dental appt. since it talked to me normally thru msn, i thought there was nothing wrong bet us. it was jzu me and my imaginations. that's why i wrote already found out wat i want to know)

so..from the above msn conversation, i concluded that everything is a OK between us! but...he treated me transparent again tonite, at one of those fun events. me and another fren juz popped by to inform him and another fren about some stuff. (there were other ppl present as well). but, none of them was listening to wat i was saying. even my fren was pissed by their responses. he was so amazed that i could still continue to rattle on and on...actually i'm impressed by my own tolerance level too.

this juz meant one thing to me. i am immuned to its reactions! well, i have already done my part as a fren. from now on, i am not going to let this issue bother me anymore. unless it speak to me first, i shan't not have any form of contact wif it! u can call it pettiness or watever, it has reached a limit until i can't even be bother to do something about it. hence, feeling immune!

next, move on to a slightly more exciting piece of news, i went to visit the dentist today! not to clean my teeth, but the possibility of putting braces!hahaha..took xrays and some teeth moulds thingie. cost me a total of 110 bucks! was quite satisfied wif the dentist and his nurses. they were all so nice and patient. i feel really secure to do my braces there. at first, i was hesitant coz he charges really low. bet 2-3k as compared to 3-4k which is suppposedly the norm. so i thought since he charges so low, maybe the std and his services ain't tat good. i actually had booked otehr appointments wif another 2 dentists at orchard and parkmall. but after this visit, i cancelled away those appointments as i was quite sure my braces will be done wif this dentist.

amazing facts: 1. i have a missing middle tooth at the lower set of my teeth! maybe i was born without it or it could be half grown n stuck in the gum such that it couldn't be seen visibly. was kinda worried that it would affect my braces. wat if after i put the brackets, it juz pop up?? but he said no issue as he has ways to deal wif it. more info could only be known when i come for my next consultation.
2. one of my lower gums is wearing off coz i brush my teeth too hard! he told me i'm gonna be in trouble once when its gone coz the food which i eat would get stuck there! god, i was so worried. so..juz dun brush too hard.

hahahh..really excited about this braces thingie. most prob gonna put it after my exams. i am afraid tat the uneasiness and pain caused by the brackets would affect my revision for the exams. better not risk it. dearie was very excited when i told him that i have decided to put braces. he had been hoping for a long time..but i always tell him that its expensive and i got no time ( i was really busy the last 2 years, jcrc and hall stuff)...hahah..spoke to my papa, he gave me the green light but he hasn't know about today's dental appointment yet. shall tell him when i'm back home tom. need to discuss wif him about the downpayment and the remaining sum, which i would pay it myself once i start work.

looking forward to sat..when i will be going down to east coast to support him and kp! jia you!!!

Rouge a-hemmed @ 5:16 AM 0 rockers